Sheltered Haven
by surban75
Summary: What does Cloud really want? Very light yaoi. AU and slightly OOC. Part one of series or stand alone. I have an un-cut version of this one shot. Check it out.


Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy, Square Enix or any of the characters.

A/N: This is a little one shot that I had floating around in my head. I just wanted to get it written out. It is a bit out of my comfort zone, but I wanted to stretch myself and my creativity. I am not really fond of most yaoi, but I wanted to try something a little more masculine. I would like to hear what you think of this story and my attempts. I may do a sequel a little later. I am still working on Unbreakable Bonds, but if it comes to me, I will get it out. This is AU.

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"I look for relaxation. When I am upset I look for comfort. When I am confused I look for answers. When I am all three, I look for you." -Empiro James

Sheltered Haven

They sat across the room and he watched them from the corner of his eye.

"So what do you think?" She asked with expectancy in her eyes, "Cloud? Are you listening to me?" Tifa waved her hand slowly in front of his face.

Cloud twitched his face back in a grimace, "Yeah, Tifa. Whatever color you want is fine with me." Cloud looked at the color swatches she had laid out across the table top. He rested his chin in the palm of his hand and tried his best to look interested. A quick glance to his right, he could see Zack seemed genuinely interested in the conversation that Aerith had him roped into. He conversed with her and his hand went to her face in a soft gesture of love. She leaned into his gentle touch and a smile lit her face. His smile was just as large and the two of them were beautiful together.

_Smack! _Cloud jerked from his thoughts as Tifa's hand hit the table, "Cloud this is important! Don't you care what our wedding is going to be like?"

Cloud, with an impatient look said, "I am sure that whatever you pick will be beautiful." He stood up and went to the hall closet, "I forgot that I had an errand to run for Barrett, I'll be back later." He slung his jacket over his shoulders and went out the door.

Tifa looked over at Aerith and Zack sitting on the couch. They had since quieted and looked at the scene laid out in front of them. Tifa sighed and a frustrated look pierced Zack's will to stay with Aerith. He stood up and grabbed his jacket, "I'll go see what's up." Zack gave Aerith a quick kiss and followed Cloud out the door. "Hey Cloud! Wait up!" Zack trotted across the driveway to Cloud as he swung his leg over the large black motorcycle, "Hey I'll go with you. I gotta get out of that estrogen filled room." Zack swung his leg over the motorcycle and settled in behind Cloud, "So, where are we going?" Cloud just looked over his shoulder at Zack and Cloud's loud sigh was not lost on Zack.

Cloud started the bike up and took off toward open land just outside of Edge. As they drove through the streets, people stepped aside and waved. Cloud wasn't proud of the fact that he was considered a hero; he just wanted to be left alone. When Sephiroth tried a third time to destroy the planet and Cloud had killed him again, he found out that Zack was actually still alive. Cloud had thought that he was dead when he had left, but evidently he wasn't. Cloud had found the lab that Hojo's lackeys had him in and rescued him. Once Zack was back, it had seemed to be a whole different world to Cloud. Zack had been grateful that Cloud had saved Aerith from becoming a shish kabob on the end of Sephiroth's sword. That was when he started turning in on himself and building up that emotional wall that he had to stay behind.

Cloud shrugged his shoulders at the feel of Zack's tight grip around his waist. Cloud gunned the bike at the exit to the city limits and the dust rose in a large plume behind them. Cloud looked in the side mirror at the city shrinking smaller and smaller. Cloud pushed Fenrir to the limit and as the speed increased, Zack's grip got tighter. Zack pulled closer to Cloud's ear, "Are you going to talk to me?"

His gloved hand slammed down on the brake and they slid sideways into a skidding stop. Zack jumped off the back of the bike and yelled, "What is going on with you?" Cloud just sat on the bike and looked away from him. Zack walked away from him a few steps with his hands on his hips. He lowered his head, "Cloud, is it the wedding?"

Cloud scoffed, "Don't act like you know what I'm feeling. You've only been back a year." Zack turned around and faced him and Cloud just stared at him.

Zack took a step forward, "Cloud, after you killed Sephiroth again and found out that I was still alive and you came for me that was the day I started living again. I missed a lot, but that doesn't give you the right to think that I don't care about you."

Cloud pulled himself off the bike and stepped up to Zack, "Listen, I love Tifa, but…" Cloud sighed and turned back around and walked back to his bike.

"But what Cloud? You have been acting so weird lately. I just want to help you." Zack came up behind him and put his hand gently on Cloud's shoulder.

Cloud shrugged his hand off and swung his leg over the bike, "I gotta get out of here."

Zack ran in front of the bike, "Stop running away!" Zack's hands leaned on the front fender of the bike, "Just stop, I don't know what is going on with you, but you need to just stop running."

Cloud stared at Zack, not knowing what to say or do. One thing he did know was how persistent Zack could be. He figured his best bet would be to just lie to him, "I am just nervous, that's all."

Zack stood straight, "That's what I thought." Zack went over and pulled Cloud's arm until he got off the bike. Zack wrapped his arms around him in a long firm hug, "As your best man, I am here to help okay." Cloud's face was squished against his shoulder and his hands stayed at his sides. Zack said right beside his head, "You know, it won't kill you to hug me back."

Cloud sighed and rolled his eyes and wrapped him in his arms and then dropped them just as quickly, "There. There is a hug, now let me go."

"Geez, how the hell does Tifa stand it? Are you this in affectionate in the bedroom?" Zack pushed him back lightly and smiled.

Cloud's mouth dropped, "Zack I… I, Oh never mind." Cloud turned back to his bike and started to get back on when Zack grabbed him and turned him around.

With both his hands holding Cloud and keeping him from getting away he peered deep in his eyes, "There's something else isn't there? What is it Cloud?"

Cloud leaned against the side of Fenrir and he wanted to relive a memory, but it was too painful anymore. He wanted to tell him, but he just couldn't bring himself to say it. Cloud looked at Zack with a look of confusion, "Tifa and I have… you know…" Cloud turned red and Zack lowered his hands from Cloud's shoulders. Cloud took a deep breath, "It just wasn't what I expected I guess." Cloud's eyes looked up into Zack's perfect aquamarine eyes. Cloud's heartbroken eyes pleaded with Zack to understand so that he wouldn't have to say it.

Zack took a step back, rubbed the back of his head and smiled, "Oh, well, it does get better man! I promise."

Cloud lowered his eyes and tears threatened to fall. He took a deep breath and cursed Zack's thick head and his inability to pick up his mood. Cloud had figured after all the time they had spent together he would, or should know. Cloud stood and turned to get back on the bike, "Let's just go." He looked at Zack over his shoulder and added, "Unless you want to walk back."

"Hell no I don't want to walk back," Zack settled in behind Cloud again and then said, "If Aerith has that baby and I'm not there, there is no way she would let me live it down."

Zack put his arms around Cloud's waist and Cloud briefly looked down at Zack's hands. He started the bike and circled back around and headed back for Edge. As he drove, the memory rose up and he was once again in that familiar lab cell.

_They sat there on the bed after some of Hojo's torturous tests. For three years now, it was nothing but pain, both physical and emotional, and Cloud was breaking down. He was only 18 and he already was ready for death. Cloud could feel the warmth of Zack's neck on his forehead and the comfort that came with it. Zack's strong arms circled his body in a secure and affectionate embrace. Cloud felt as though his death was imminent and Zack was always there to comfort him. Cloud nuzzled his face into Zack's neck. Strong hands rubbed Cloud's arm trying to reassure him. _

_Cloud's lips gently kissed Zack's neck and he inhaled deeply in surprise to his own boldness. The side of Cloud's head rested on Zack's shoulder and Zack either didn't seem to notice, or he didn't mind it. Cloud cut his eyes up enough to see part of Zack's face and he stared forward. Cloud kissed his neck again and again. Zack hugged him tighter and quietly he said, "Cloud…?"_

_Cloud sat up and looked at Zack until he finally turned to face him. Cloud's soft tears dripped down his rosy cheeks, "I don't want to die not knowing what love is like…" Cloud took Zack's face and kissed him gently at first. Zack's resistance finally fell and he eventually kissed him back. Eagerness came from Cloud's lips as they parted and he softly parted Zack's lips with his tongue. They kissed with passion as if their life depended on it. Cloud broke the kiss and pulled his shirt off and Zack followed his lead and they both met back with another kiss. Cloud pushed Zack down and once Cloud was looking down at Zack's glowing and confused eyes, Cloud kissed his neck and brushed his muscled chest with his craving lips. _

_Zack's hands firmly took Cloud by his shoulders and turned him over. Zack's moist lips caressed Cloud's neck, chest and stomach. They explored each other in curiosity and desperation. That night, Cloud got to feel; actually feel what love would be like. The pain from Hojo stopped for a time and was replaced with a feeling of security and a private sanctuary that just he and Zack were allowed in. Their sanctuary stayed there for only them when they needed to escape the torment that Hojo always seem to provide._

When they got back to the apartment above the restaurant, Cloud just stayed on the bike. Zack got off and started in the door. When he turned and saw Cloud sitting there, he headed back, "Come on Cloud, your bride-to-be is waiting on you."

Cloud nodded, "Yeah, I'll be there in a minute." Zack turned and went inside. Cloud sat there and tried to figure out what his real feelings were. He stared at the door that led to the woman that he loved, but it wasn't the same. With a shake of his head, he started the bike back up and left the restaurant behind him. He heard the door slam open and Zack yelling something but he couldn't make out what it was. Once back out on the road, he went back out to the wasteland outside of Edge. The faster he went the better he seemed to feel.

He finally stopped and found a spot and got off his bike and sat against the rocks. He stretched out his legs and moaned at the soreness in them. Laying his head back he rested the back of his head on the boulder behind him. The blue sky was broken up with small wispy white clouds. He closed his eyes and drifted off.

"Hey, wake up!" A foreign boot kicked at the bottoms of Cloud's boots. Cloud opened his eyes and there stood Zack, "What the hell is wrong with you?!" Zack grabbed Cloud's hand and pulled him up to his feet, "Tifa is worried about you. Hell, I'm worried about you."

Cloud walked around Zack and toward his bike, "Zack, just go. Aerith is going to have that baby anytime now. I don't need you."

Zack harshly grabbed his arm and yanked Cloud around to face him, "I don't think you believe that." He forced Cloud to look at him, "Now tell me what is really upsetting you. I am not letting go until you do!"

Cloud swallowed hard and blinked slowly. His voice was quiet, "I love you Zack."

Zack dropped Cloud's arm and his hand covered his own mouth in surprise. Cloud watched Zack run through the past, "Cloud. That was… that was just…"

Cloud couldn't move, he seemed stuck, both physically and mentally. He reached out to Zack and Zack pulled back, out of Cloud's reach, "Zack I'm so sorry, I just… I'll go now."

Cloud turned to get on Fenrir when Zack grabbed him. He turned Cloud around and hugged him tightly, "Cloud, I love you too, but that was not what you think it was."

Cloud wrestled out of Zack's grasp, "Maybe not for you, but it was for me." Cloud pushed Zack away and got on his bike and left.

It has been two years now, and he sat at the counter of the shop he now owned. The town was small, but he liked the quiet and he reveled in the solitude. He watched people come, and people go, but it was never who he wanted to see.

**A/N: Thanks to all of you who favorite, subscribed and/or reviewed, I appreciate your time. To quote another author, "Getting reviews makes me feel all warm and squishy." **

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